i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
