okay pat passed out under dana's car
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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