What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
