There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
