They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
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