he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
