people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
