honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
