Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
