Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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