New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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