Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
