Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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