nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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