he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
