Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
