4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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