I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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