okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
