I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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