I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
