So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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