New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
