some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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