What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
