I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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