If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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