How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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