I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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