Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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