Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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