Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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