Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
