They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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