direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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