Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
