nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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