I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
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I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
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I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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