i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
