I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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