Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
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We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
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The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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