Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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