I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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