come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She's the barista slut.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
