we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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