you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
