This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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