In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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