South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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