Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
