I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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