Please, let me fuck your mom
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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