How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I understand Curling. That high.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
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