the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
