A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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