Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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