He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
