Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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