talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
