Sry I called you an 8
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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