I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize