Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize